I'm back

I’m back. I arrived back last night, at around two in the morning. This is a really long post, but please do read it.

Panic!

Brathe, JoJo, breathe. Whew... okay... well, the baby is on the way, and I don't know what to do, and I just got away from Hester attacking at me for not calling the doctor (which I did) and she was sitting on me saying "Call him! Call him!" and I was saying "When you're sitting on me I can't do ANYTHING!!!" But she wouldn't listen to me and she's a lot heavier than me and I couldn't get her off until Hallie came along and got her off me and I could breathe long enough to tell them I called him already and then I already called Dad and now I can't do anything but type run-on sentinces on the computer! I feel so... helpless! And worthless. I mean, Hallie's out there trying to knock some sense into Hester (dad's not home to tell her not to beat up her sisters and my ribcage is brused enough anyway) and... somebody else (I can't remember her name) is keeping all the younger sisters under control and I'm sitting here being worthless. Oh, I think the doctor's here, I gotta go get him.

Why didn't he just stay?

There was some trouble at the U yesterday and apparently some of the classrooms were vandalized. Even Dr LaRue's lab! And I am thinking it's too random not to be connected to whatever dad's doing. And it has me a little worried. But not as worried... look, I'm not mad at my Mom. It's not... completely... her... fault... that she's pregnant... but she didn't have to agree with Dad about him going away. If she didn't let him go or she didn't waant her to go, then he wouldn't have gone and left me here to take care of 96 sisters and a pregnant mother. He could have just stayed until... the baby came. Which will be soon. I feel sick.

Yuck!

Dad left this morning. I finally calmed down enough to come out of my room this morning. Actually I had to, it's a school day. I didn't come out yesterday at all. But anyway, I had to go to breakfast once I came out. Mom wanted me to sit in Dad's chair but I didn't want to. And she said she wasn't thinking that morning and she made two cups of coffee for her and dad but dad had to go and would I want his? And I tried it and spit it out. She made it just like he wanted it. Bitter. Yuck. And school didn't go too well either. I couldn't focus, and everyone was asking if I felt alright for some reason. I guess I look sick. I feel sick too. And mad. Sick-mad. I don't know what to do. I feel helpless. And like they don't need my help. Like they don't need me. And like I can't even write correctly.
And that thing about my life confusing me isn't funny.

Some more...

Lets see... Oh, sophowhos and freshwhos had a half day at school today (hooray) and so I was home early (not-so-hooray) but anyway, one of my sisters came home from school with a stomach bug... and now about forty of them have it. Anyway, my mom was really busy taking care of them all, so the rest of us had to kinda fend for ourselves. Which is a good thing, for me. I can stay in my room all day if I want. But then Dad assigned us into crews of about ten apiece to do normal stuff Mom usually does. so we have groups of us doing different household chores. One team does cooking lunch, one dinner, one cleans the girls room and so on. And they all have leaders. Haley leads the girls room team, Hanna leads the kitchen-cleanup and guess who leads the dinner making? *sigh* I guess we'll all be having cold potatoes for a while.

Updates while my emotions are under control-
My family is well
Whoville's well
School is blah
and I'm not so good.
My mom's "Farther along" than anyone besides her knew, so the baby is expected in about a month (for you humans, remember that we are WHOS, not humans) and all the doctors say it's probably gonna be a boy. Dad's excited, Mom's "excited", Sisters are excited and what is wrong with me? Everyone who I actually told (that's you guys) thinks I should be excited, but I have this sick feeling... about replacement. I know that sounds really dumb, but it's true. So painfully true. It's so hard. Why is this so hard?

Well, a little more on the lighter side- I embarrassed myself again today. I uhhh... wanted to see if I was any taller and I uhhh... hopped up on the bathroom sink. I found that my hair isn't as long as it seems, I just am always looking up... but then one of my sisters came into the bathroom. "What in the... What are you doing up there?!?" she said. "Uhhh... nothing!" I said and sat down. "Mom's coming, JoJo. If she sees you up there..."I hopped down and didn't stay to hear the rest. I just don't want to... see my mom right now.
Oh, and yesterday... my dad saw me walking through his study and stopped me. *sigh* and asked if something was wrong. I didn't really want to... tell him, but fortunatly he guessed what was also on my mind yesterday. Actually, not-so-fortunatly, but better than the other thing.
"Has that Mayzie Zattic been bugging you? She came by the house and asked where you were." "Uhhhh... I... no, nothing." I stuttered and left the room. I don't know what dad's thinking now, but I'm not gonna ask.

I don't beleive it. I refuse to beleive it. No! NoNoNoNo... I can't fight this. *Sigh* I hate this. Everything that the blog at livejournal said... it's happening. It's coming true. How they knew what would happen... oh, please... make it stop! But this means... this means... It's gonna be a boy. and... and... I'm gonna run away from home. And... NO! this is not physically possible. But... somehow... NO! Please! Somebody make this stop!

Hey look. NEVER go to livejournal.com and type my name. There's an impostor on there. He says he has a brother. And I am getting a sick feeling in my stomach. Because... well... My mom... *sigh* She's pregnant again. I'm scared. Really scared. I don't want it to be a boy. I don't. Really. Have you ever felt like... never mind. I'lll find out soon enough. But I'm getting depressed. And, as you all know, JoJo's depression is never good.