Running Away

This I recorded last month- well, not the background NOISE (That's not music!) just the singing... I know it's terribly sad. It came to mind almost thoughtlessly, the outcry of a broken heart. I left the tape out in Dad's office... and Miss Yelp got her hands on it. I don't know what she was thinking when she saw a record lying there, but she must have thought it was some of her business. I bet she listened to it and didn't think about anything- the words, nothing. Just thought that it was me singing and she got a lot of really good reviews about that other thing on Whospace, and nest thing I know, there I am on the web AGAIN singing. With now new noise in the background, but still me. I really felt like that was all I could do. This was just before I actually did it... Running Away. I just poured my heart out where nobody could hear- well I thought nobody could hear.

Need a break from it all
Some space from it all for a minute
I’m trying to make sense of it all
This place is so unforgiving
Wanting and waiting
And somehow it’s another winter
Big plans and big dreams
They're over now

‘Cause I’m running away,
running away
I gotta do it, make my escape from the world I’ve been living in
Nothing’s holding me down
I’m leaving this town
I gotta do it, deep down I know
That as long as I stay true,
It doesn’t matter where I’m running to


I was so stupid to think that way... I'm alive here. I can't be anywhere else. I gotta think of another verse to put out before everyone thinks I still think that way.
No, I was right. It doesn't matter where I run to...

I came back,
I stayed true
Don't matter where you run to
Come home no matter how far you go
Home'll be there when you get back from runnin
away.

I went like normal to the library. Yeah, it had started to feel normal. And I got on my Whoogle mail. There was one item in the inbox. From Dad. Before I deleted it, I saw the subject. It said simply “Remember Horton?” I opened the email. All it said was “Thank you, JoJo.” I was just thinking, and then like a blow in the stomach it hit me. The dream. “No matter what happens, I couldn’t ask for a better son.” No matter, no matter whatever… I had forgotten. And it… I can’t exactly describe what I was feeling then.

I don't beleive it. I refuse to beleive it. No! NoNoNoNo... I can't fight this. *Sigh* I hate this. Everything that the blog at livejournal said... it's happening. It's coming true. How they knew what would happen... oh, please... make it stop! But this means... this means... It's gonna be a boy. and... and... I'm gonna run away from home. And... NO! this is not physically possible. But... somehow... NO! Please! Somebody make this stop!