Why didn't he just stay?

There was some trouble at the U yesterday and apparently some of the classrooms were vandalized. Even Dr LaRue's lab! And I am thinking it's too random not to be connected to whatever dad's doing. And it has me a little worried. But not as worried... look, I'm not mad at my Mom. It's not... completely... her... fault... that she's pregnant... but she didn't have to agree with Dad about him going away. If she didn't let him go or she didn't waant her to go, then he wouldn't have gone and left me here to take care of 96 sisters and a pregnant mother. He could have just stayed until... the baby came. Which will be soon. I feel sick.

Really upset right now. After dinner, dad called me to his study. Mom was there. "Could you close the door?" He said. Oh no, I thought. But I closed the door. Dad said "I have to talk to you." "Yes?" I said a little curtly, then said "Sorry."
"Well, I have some out-of-town busness I need to get to. And it will be at the end of this month." "Okay? Why did you need to talk to me then?" Mom answered. "Honey, the doctors say the baby will probably be a little early. But Dad's work is really important."
"What! So you're saying you'll go away and if the baby starts being born I'm supposed to take mom to the hospital? I don't see how that would work!" I was pretty upset. Dad continued "No, no, if the baby is born I'll get right back here as fast as I can. Which should be fast, I'll only be a little ways off. But you will have to help your Mom and sisters a lot. And about the baby... you know, if he's born before february he'll be premature. And I wanted youo to know that." He said. I was puzzling this out in my head while Mom continued. "You know that you were premature, JoJo. And you had a lot of problems because of that. We just wanted you to know that you wouldn't be alone."
I grasped hold of the only solid thing I could find in this world that seemed to be dissolving around me. "You're going away Dad. What happens if you don't get here in time?" Mom decided to leave then. Dad said "JoJo, there may be a small uprising north of here. I'm trying to put it down. You have to understand, I have to go." "No, no, she could die!" and I suddenly found that I was starting to cry. "It's okay, it's okay, she's not gonna die..." I fought against the tears "How do you know?" I was so angry I couldn't hear what he said next. Mom came back in with Hedy. Dad looked up at her helplessly. "I didn't die when I had you." she said. "No! No!" My voice broke and I ran out of the room, half blinded by angry tears.
Now that I've been sitting here for a while, I don't think I have any tears left inside me. The baby would be a replacement. They called it he. I keep hoping against hope. And that seems like the only thing left in this black, swimming world.

Nothing new to report.

Nothing new. Still lying in bed. Still upset with my parents. Still... worried. Still upset at Holly. My sisters told me this thing I'm sure they fabricated to make me feel worse. It worked. For some strange reason, Halley really is mad at me. She says I hurt mom's feeelings really bad. I have no idea how.

Bad Day

Ughh! Terrible day today. First off, after lunch, I looked out the window for some reason- good thing I did. Who should be walking toward our house but Mayzie Zattic. I said to my sisters "I'm not home" and I went to my room. While I was in there- she was here for like three whole hours- I started to feel sick. Not "I can't wait until she's gone" sick, like real sick. I went out of my room when she left and Holly tackled me for some reason. When she fnally stopped pummeling me and stalked off some of my other sisters said that Holly had been showing Mayzie around and she must have thought she was interested. Then Mayzie asked where I was and Holly got really mad and Mayzie left. I was really glad nobody told Mayzie where I was, but I still feel really sick. I went to my mom, who was talking with my dad. Dad said "Oh, JoJo, Mayzie was here today. She was looking for you." I said to mom "I feel sick." Dad said "I know how that was." while he was looking fondly at mom and I was thinking WHAT? but mom said "I think this is a good time to talk about the baby." And I was thinking Oh, No, but I said "No, I seriously feel sick" And mom felt my forehead and told me and dad I had a fever (which I already knew) and said I should go to bed. So, I'm- well, technically not, I'm at the computer- laying in bed and feeling sicker and sicker. And wondering why when my dad said that about knowing something my mom said it would be a good time to talk about the baby. *Gulp*
Ps. I'm smart enough to realize that if I keep feeling sicker I won't get on tomorrow or the next day probably- so if you don't hear from me...