Really upset right now. After dinner, dad called me to his study. Mom was there. "Could you close the door?" He said. Oh no, I thought. But I closed the door. Dad said "I have to talk to you." "Yes?" I said a little curtly, then said "Sorry."
"Well, I have some out-of-town busness I need to get to. And it will be at the end of this month." "Okay? Why did you need to talk to me then?" Mom answered. "Honey, the doctors say the baby will probably be a little early. But Dad's work is really important."
"What! So you're saying you'll go away and if the baby starts being born I'm supposed to take mom to the hospital? I don't see how that would work!" I was pretty upset. Dad continued "No, no, if the baby is born I'll get right back here as fast as I can. Which should be fast, I'll only be a little ways off. But you will have to help your Mom and sisters a lot. And about the baby... you know, if he's born before february he'll be premature. And I wanted youo to know that." He said. I was puzzling this out in my head while Mom continued. "You know that you were premature, JoJo. And you had a lot of problems because of that. We just wanted you to know that you wouldn't be alone."
I grasped hold of the only solid thing I could find in this world that seemed to be dissolving around me. "You're going away Dad. What happens if you don't get here in time?" Mom decided to leave then. Dad said "JoJo, there may be a small uprising north of here. I'm trying to put it down. You have to understand, I have to go." "No, no, she could die!" and I suddenly found that I was starting to cry. "It's okay, it's okay, she's not gonna die..." I fought against the tears "How do you know?" I was so angry I couldn't hear what he said next. Mom came back in with Hedy. Dad looked up at her helplessly. "I didn't die when I had you." she said. "No! No!" My voice broke and I ran out of the room, half blinded by angry tears.
Now that I've been sitting here for a while, I don't think I have any tears left inside me. The baby would be a replacement. They called it he. I keep hoping against hope. And that seems like the only thing left in this black, swimming world.